Verbal slips can sometimes have very funny results.   We have gathered a collection of memorable quotes over the years.  We came across some of them in the school.  Others have been contributed.


We sincerely hope that none of this material offends anyone in any way.  Languages are complicated and everyone makes the occasional mistake.  If the result is humorous, we think it should be enjoyed!


ACTUAL NEWS HEADLINES
Contributor Unknown


  • Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

  • Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

  • Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

  • Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

  • Miners Refuse to Work after Death

  • Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

  • Stolen Painting Found by Tree

  • Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

  • Drunken Drivers Paid $1000

  • '84 War Dims Hope for Peace

  • If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

  • Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

  • Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

  • Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

  • Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

  • Farmer Bill Dies in House

  • Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

  • Stud Tires Out

  • Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

  • British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

  • Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

  • Eye Drops off Shelf

  • Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

  • Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead


Continued...


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Language Humor

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Funny Correspondence
Part 1

Funny Correspondence
Part 2

Funny Correspondence
Part 3

Funny Correspondence
Part 4

Funny News Headlines
Part 2

Funny News Headlines
Part 3

Funny News Headlines
Part 4

Funny News Headlines
Part 5

Funny News Headlines
Part 6

Funny Resumes

Funny Church Bulletins

Funny Signs - Part 1

Funny Signs - Part 2

Funny Signs - Part 3

Funny Signs - Part 4

Vancouver English Centre

ESL Humor by Blabberwocky

ESL Humor